Did you know that each coping skill has its pros and cons? We often discuss the benefits of utilizing healthy coping skills, but don't always identify that some just work better than others based off what we are going through. That is what makes coping skills so difficult! So today, we are going to take a deeper dive into coping skills and how to chose whats best based on your situation. Something you may notice is that many skills do overlap!
Distraction
Distraction is absorbing our minds into something else. Common distraction skills include our everyday hobbies such as reading, videogames, gardening, cleaning, movies, and crafting.
Pros of Distraction
They provide quick short-term stress relief
Helpful when we are in crisis
Takes our minds off things outside of our control
Cons of Distraction
Distraction is the skill that I see my clients use the most and are most successful at. However, often times we can find ourselves stuck...
Does not solve any problem and can lead to avoidance
I.e. A teen is anxious about failing a history test so then they play videogames rather than study. Most likely, the teen will fail the math test
If skill is used for too long, it can interfere with daily functioning.
I.e. You move to a new city and are nervous about meeting a new friend group so you scroll on social media. You then decide to stay in for the evening rather than socialize.
Grounding/Mindfulness
Grounding skills are things that bring us out of our heads and into your body or the environment. The most well-known grounding skill is the 54321 technique. This entails describing 5 things you can see, identifying and feeling 4 things you can touch, naming 3 things you can hear, identifying 2 smells, and identify 1 thing you can taste. You can also utilize senses individually through aroma therapy, meditation, fidgets, and exercise.
Pros of Grounding
Decreases physical anxiety
I.e. racing heart, stomach/headache
Aids in feelings of dissocition or numbness
Cons of Grounding
While in crisis, sometimes it is better to be dissociated. Our body naturally does this at times!
I.e. A soldier may dissociate in order to survive a battle
I.e. Staying away from the news after a disaster
Emotional Release
Let it out! We can practice emotional release through intense exercise like running or lifting weights, singing/dancing to music, letting yourself cry, or watching a funny videos to make yourself laugh.
Pros of emotional release
Decreases feelings of overwhelm
Useful for anger and intense fear
Cons of emotional release
Can't use these skills anywhere
Best utilized at home/in safe place
Self-Care
Whether it be practicing basic hygiene, treating ourselves on good food or a new purchase, exercise, getting nails done, etc. Self-Care is essential for our mental health and daily functioning.
Pros of Self-Care
Helpful with feelings of guilt, shame, or disappointment
Becoming your own support system
Creates internalized validation rather than getting validation from others
Cons of Self-Care
This can be a hard skill! Sometimes we can get stuck in helping others and forgetting ourselves
Thought Challenging
Have you ever found yourself thinking in an unhelpful way? Have you struggled with spiraling thoughts of anxiety? Thought challenging is a mind-based coping skill in which we challenge and then reframe unhelpful thoughts to helpful thoughts. We can do this by making a list of why an unhelpful thought may not be true. For example, "Just because I failed my math test, that doesn't mean I'm stupid. I have great grades in history, I am artistic, and just because I failed one test that doesn't make me bad at all math." You can also do this by talking it out with a loved one or through journaling. A great resource I share with my clients is an app called "Clarity: CBT thought diary." In the app, you are able to select a feature called "Analyze Thought" which guides you through this process step-by-step.
Pros of Thought Challening
Learning to reframe thoughts leads to long-term relief and mental wellness
Helps you to think more logically rather than just emotionally
Cons
This is one of the hardest skills to learn!
Difficult to internalize logical thinking when you are upset.
Most effective after using another skill (i.e. grounding, self-care, distraction)
Access Your Higher Self
Access your higher self is another way of saying doing nice things for others or the community to make yourself feel good. This can be complimenting a friend or coworker, volunteering, advocacy work, practicing in religious/spiritual traditions (if applicable), taking care of animals, etc.
Pros of Acess Your Higher Self
Reminds us to find good in the small things
Helpful with existential crises
Makes others feel good too!
Cons of Acess Your Higher Self
Need to balance with self-care
Conclusion
Utilizing coping skills is not an easy task. Different skills may be more effective than others depending on your situation. However, simply taking the time and effort in your day to regulate in a healthy way is deserving of celebration. As you continue to practice, you will notice what works best for you!
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